It's Been a While

It's been a while since I've pressed the blade to my arm,
but it seems like just yesterday since the pain is still there,
the scars still remember from that escapade of days,
it still crosses my mind to press the blade to my arm.

Some of this still happens when I'm alone in my room,
letting my mind take a jog down memory lane,
and it makes stops at the lost loves and broken hearts,
and then takes a turn to the hardest goodbyes.

It's been a while since I thought about you and me,
but there's moments I still think about the after effects,
when it world seemed to be constantly knocking me down,
and the wounds still seems so fresh on the worst of days.

So here I am again back in my room alone again,
washing the memories down with whiskey and vodka chasers,
hoping that tomorrow will be different, but knowing it won't,
especially when blade is so close to my grasp.

It's been a while since I woke up with a hangover,
trying to shake off the effects of another drunken night,
wishing I could lock some memories up in hidden box,
but my scars are still fresh no matter how old they are.