Contradictions (Collab with Rabea Jadallah)

by Meme   Sep 9, 2011


At night
we're lovers,
just fall in love.
In the morning
we're enemies,
battling this passion.

I always ask her
to save my soul
before I give up.
She always says,
wake my heart,
save my last breath.

Until she headed toward
the exit door, and
gave me one last look.
She shut the door,
leaving behind her
a trail of heartaches.

There are no signs of
her in my life, except
for the love I hold.
I don't know if she was
a dream, or a hallucination
in my head.

She has bewitched my
heart, my thoughts, and
soul. And left me here
in my solitary, contradicting
my beliefs. She maybe a
wandering ghost, or perhaps
I'm a false reality ?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Rabea Jadallah
And: gIrL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please copy all comments and votes to his profile as well

http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=1174684

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Overall a great concept and nice collaboration; however, to honestly critique this piece, I personally would say you used too many fillers (e.g. he, she, I, me, my). I know it is generally hard to write a poem about love without using those words, but I feel it could be much better leaving a majority of them out.

    In the first stanza you have the word love twice, perhaps you could use a synonym for one of them.

    Overall though, this was a great collaboration, looking forward to reading more from the both of you.

    Keep up the great work!

    - Joe

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    A beautifully penned piece. A really good read.

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by believeinlove87

    This poem is outstanding :).
    Its breathtaking.

    There are no signs of
    her in my life, except
    for the love I hold.
    I don't know if she was
    a dream, or a hallucination
    in my head.

    I love this stanza, not sure if it was all real or some illusion :).
    Beautiful piece, it flowed perfectly & made you wanna continue to read. Couldn't tell who wrote which part it was so good :)
    5/5

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