The timeless balance

I feel the unsettled dismay of the timeless scale
Endurance and turmoil compete to the point I nearly wail
Can anyone truly relate to the way that life has made me feel
Will I ever be with someone with whom, together, we can heal

I fear that a feel a reality that I'm falling
Standing by settling, as I'm passed by, by my calling
I pray to God that he will give me the strength to be
What I'm intended to, and follow the path he has for me

The night beckons to me like the Siren's song
Its been hounding like a mongrel for far too long
Unsettling desire, hands steady as stone
Partaking in sin until I forget I am alone

As the strength of my weakness increases
I fall to pieces and the pain ceases
As numbness grows the shadow shows
What he knows, away inhibition goes

Setting aside what should be held on to so tight
Grabbing strongly a hold of the darkness in the night
Parting from myself as my conscience falls back to watch
Adding to my plank of mistakes more than just one notch

Pour it in and watch it rise near to the top
Make it disappear and not know when to stop
Fall again and again when is it enough
Never imagined it could be this tough