IS IT OVER (partially acrostic)

This war wages on inside of me
My internal cages lied to me
It still comes back, what started years before
So to often I think, I cant hold it back anymore

As I write this very line I continue to fall
As does self respect and that's not all
Searching for a friend, searching till the end
In this life will, these scars ever truly mend?

Life is too short to fall and fail time after time
Making crucial decisions as the clock starts to chime
Took on the wrong things that were passed down
I can stay afloat only so long, before I begin to drown

I've done so good and climbed so high
So why is it no matter how hard I try
I serve my self up, and give in
Will I ever break the bondage of sin?

At least I can stay with the music that I play
Its not just a crutch to get me through the day
I watch the sun set as I slowly turn away
The fibers of my inner control begin to fray

As the reality sets, of how far I've fallen from grace
The discomfort causes a single tear to roll down my face
Undeserving and weak I rise up off the ground
And focus on a fixture in the middle of a mound

Feels like I am dying inside
Feels like I am writhing in mind
My sights are set, but the target is still a blur
Compromising fog, fighting not to be unsure

I have earrings, scars, and tattoos
I will fight for those who tend to lose
Late at night, there's no one there to talk to me
I find comfort in what keeps me from being free

I think of what I have been and what stands in my way
Stopping me from causing all, too start to decay
Inside somewhere dark, that everyone has been to
Trying to ignore the temptations to undo

Oh what Is to become of these mixed emotions
Varying degrees of mixed devotions
Everlasting conflict still rages deep within
Revealing the truth of the strength that was given