Sometimes...

In the quiet of the night
I have no where else to run
but to look deep inside me
and see who I've become,
not what I pretend to be.

Sometimes I scare myself
with these thoughts and emotions
that fling themselves around my mind,
the things that bubble up
from deep inside my soul.

Sometimes I wonder if what they say is true,
they used to call me Ice Queen,
they said I had no emotions
since I could hold myself
and not show how they hurt me.

Sometimes I wonder
have I really gone cold?
Because sometimes I really couldn't care less,
like I really am made of ice,
no happiness, just blankness.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll survive,
all these years of loneliness
have left their marks on me,
I'm not strong enough to glue all the cracks,
I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I wish that I could be cruel,
be as selfish as I want to be
without the guilt weighing me down,
I wish that I was strong enough
to get what I want and need.

Sometimes I wonder
if emotions are really worth it,
I'm just so exhausted that I really don't care
even though I push myself to...

Sometimes I wonder about me.