On This Day

On this day, my birthday...
I will love to thank the guys I have loved.
The guys I have once adored and not have the slightest thought that you would not be mines forever more.

Showing me what true love feels like.
Showing me what it feels like to want to end your life with a knife.

You don't and never will know how i got caught up in your spiderwebs.
Spiderwebs of lies, love, freedom, forgiveness and unhappiness.

Sometimes, many times..I thought you already knew exactly how my heart had beated for you.
How my mind operates without you even being near.
How it feels like theirs guilt in my throat whenever I start to shed tears.

Never wanted to escape you.
Not seeing or touching eachother, it is killing me as it is killing you.
But at the same time you are giving me air.
To live and breathe the abuse in my house by few.

You have changed my mind, my heart and my life, drastically and passsionately.

Don't ever stop to think there is a day that passes me by where I don't think of you.
I will die..with each and everyone of your love in my sad little patched up heart.

I would like to climb high in the clouds.
To see how you are living your lives now.

Amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.