Daddy-
This word means both
Love and stranger,
When I think of what this word
Is supposed to mean.
You can't support me forever
But I came here hoping
To your home and in your arms,
For you to take care of me
In all the years you missed.
You weren't there to see me grow up
And nineteen years is a lot to miss
When a little girl
Becomes a woman.
So I came to you
After nineteen years apart
And at this moment I don't know how I thought
It would be different.
I don't think you loved me then
And I doubt you love me now.
You see it as your job
Your duty
To see my life through.
Let me tell you
What I used to see:
A father who loved
His daughter
With such beautiful wings,
Even the angels were jealous.
I was unexpected
A miracle
Who barely survived birth.
I saw a man
And called him
FATHER.
Years passed by,
But my little heart
Saw only the man
I honestly thought loved me.
There were birthday cards
And visits,
Despite how short and how little
They truly were.
Still
My mind, my heart
Only saw pure wings
On my father's back.
I saw hands to catch me
Eyes to show attention
And ears to listen.
I came to you
Looking for a family,
What I got
Was a stranger;
A man who was a father
And wore it only as a title.
So I stand here now
Looking at you.
Daddy,
Do you know what I see?
The wings I once thought were pure
Have fallen away
So I can see;
Daddy,
I see warped and tainted wings.
