Pandora

Wow... the ending was a perfect way to just end such an amazing poem.

5/5

-Heather

What an amazing poem! Well written - I love it

If you were a planet, I bet
you would dance around the sun
like a ballerina - and be the Pandora
of a distant stretch of cosmos,
where comets try to slingshot
themselves to you, where the star's
gaze would be fixed upon your aquatic pearl.

I have an image of this beautiful woman with an amazing aura whom you speak so highly of. This person is smoeone who is loved dearly by many - the use of the words "comets try to slingshot themselves to you" like people gravitate towards her

I am a more straightforward existence.
Threads of matter, tissues, cells.
I can't always be the glow of the night sky
you wish upon, your gravitational constant,
or a lunar Siegfried.

All I have are two atoms, tiny and violent.
I'll leave them here for you

For me the last two stanzas are quite sad. An image of someone who does not feel that they deserve this wonderful woman. The first poem made me smile and the second I felt heartbroken.

This is just how I felt when reading this poem. I am not sure if that was the image you were trying to portay.

LOVED IT

x

A beautiful, magical, enchanting write . Loved it Colm.

My favourite lines...

" All I have are two atoms, tiny and violent.
I'll leave them here for you."

Your poems always delight :) .. Glad I stopped by!

All the Best .. Olwin

Oh, sorry. That was Sibyllene^ Gotta log out!

The majority of this poem was dreamy and pretty nice, and then the last two lines were (topically...) stellar. Really, really great. I loved the image of the two atoms as being "tiny and violent." That was a really effective word choice, more powerful than some flowery language would have been. The short sentences of those last two lines also worked really well.