I have some good news, and some bad news. please trust that i say these things because i want to help. i do not mean any insult by suggesting that this needs correction... however...

this is too long. before i even begin to read, i can tell this is too long. you could maybe press "ENTER" several times to break it up more. that way it is at least easier to read. maybe try and form some stanzas.

poetry is supposed to be used to express feeling with as little words necessary. or describe a scene. but this is something that i am much more familiar with. this is a vent/rant.

my and IBE both like to do these sometimes. it definitely helps to release stress. it is obvious that the girl you are talking about is yourself. sometimes it helps to view yourself from the outside looking in. but you dont need to be modest. if you are going to rant. TELL US HOW IT IS! i like to use metaphors to explain how i feel. ... like a turd on my ice cream cake. lol

you dont have to beat around the bush so much.

next time, try using less words and even if it doesn't rhyme, separate it into stanzas. it is more eye appealing. i know you probably wont change anything here. and neither would i because i wrote it out of deep sadness or anger. its usually not a place i would like to revisit for inspiration.

so on that note, everything i've said is to tell you that i enjoy writing in similar styles for venting. AND IT WORKS! but i know that because of the way you formatted it, you will scare away most of the potential readers this way. and im sure you want more comments. (dont we all lol)

as for your message: know that there are people out there who like you for more than your body. and everybody wants to find and feel loved. this is one of those cases where i should really take my own advice, but, love cannot grow with feelings of hatred. learn to forgive. i know from personal experience, that if i could, i would. it is a lonely way to live if you can't.