Hanging Hearts

So, I'm coming back to this now that I know your metaphors a whole lot better and can understand them at a different level, lol.

This is so much more beautiful than I thought the first time through. To me it's as though you've built up a love, put it on a pedestal and yet you refuse to talk about it, only write. You don't want to jinx it, don't want to make it something it isn't, don't want to parade in front of people.. because truth doesn't need parades.

"and I wish not to
cheapen splendor by
depicting hearts
as theaters"

This is my absolute favorite part, it really is beautiful. It's the parade part - you don't need the drama surrounding things in your life to make things feel like something they aren't. You live in reality when no one else does. You don't listen to the craziness, you focus on the task at hand.

But then at the end you kind of throw me for a loop, because you say it'd be foolish. Foolish to think that this is all untouchable from pain because natural disasters happen, even the strongest things fall.. bringing you back to a different, inevitable reality.

And now reading when you wrote and posted this (a year ago today you edited it ha!) I can't help but wonder if this is some kind of incredible foreshadowing for your own world.

I can't help but see incredible talent when I see you, Mel. This is gorgeous.

Here for read #1millionandfour

It seems while Hanging Gardens were your inspiration, there's also a deeper, more personal layer of the poem. It is certainly intriguing piece. You managed to create interesting flow by arranging lines, pauses between stanzas and moving some words from one part to the other. That rhythm was cleverly built, yet it is natural.
and I wish not to
cheapen splendor by
depicting hearts
as theaters

though too often
we parade -

comical in all our tragedy.

Masterful. This is my favorite part. It is quite emotional and it made me ponder over its meaning.
All in all, admirable work.

What can I really say that the others haven't? This was gorgeous. I love the play on words, I love the play on metaphors. I love the images, I love the meaning, I love the idea behind it. I love everything about your poetry. I tiptoe in, confused as usual, but come up with my own lovely idea, and it's just beautiful from your words. LOVE this.

To begin,I did not even scroll up to see which wonder you had picked,I just read the first line and I am like.... Aaaahhhhh this one is mel's...

uhm uhmmm *clears throat*

let me start...

The romantic 'pon my pen
wishes to design our figures
with the flora of
hanging gardens,

^
If allowed to say so I believe that here you
meant,you want to embellish two lovers,
and comparing the love you both share to the amount of beauty the hanging gardens have..
thus the softer side of you has every intention in trying to paint a beautiful imaginary...
but then again,you choice of words mel,jeez..
where does it come from...

to map our curves with
the banks of Euphrates,
hips wound 'round
the desert of our skin.
^
here,I am a little dazzled...
but with Euphrates being a word that seems
very old and antique,I come to the conclusion that you want make love something that will forever remain..

and I wish not to
cheapen splendor by
depicting hearts
as theaters
^
Yes,I adore this stanza...
here you meant keeping it all to yourself,
because when I think of theaters I think of something everybody sees..so you are basically being intimate..and wish not to make your love too,too obvious to the human eye...

though too often
we parade -

^
and here you contradict yourself,
but then again it is penned in such a creative
way,it is hard to tell... aaaah..

comical in all our tragedy.
^
this must be my favorite line I swear!
and here it relates directly to your screen name..so It all has to do with you!

This same amorous pen
choses not to
metaphor modern love,

^
It chose not do so,while doing it..in one of the most amazing ways, ;)

for our fruit is
bruised and lazy -
stagnant in a dish.
^
what a metaphor I have to admit I looked up what Stagnant means..and the use of it here kind of breaks the emotion you started with...
but nonetheless well thought,thought. ha!

modern consorts
compare not
to a king who would
flesh poetic wonder
^
so,your saying that the old will always remain better,since it is more deep...and more poetic..very true,often everything that is old,creates certain feelings one could always write about... hmm.

but their bouquets delight
our vases and bloom
gardens within a home.
^
hahah yes! I love this contradiction game you have going on!..you say something,and its like you are in a debate..like pondering "yes,I know but you see..the thing is that and that and that"

Sometimes I find it
foolish to see my body
as a sacred temple,
^
It is foolish indeed,
I like this,lmao... my religion teacher was always like "your body is a temple of god and bla bla"
yet when one dies,there is nothing but bones left... pfft.

for love is like
an earthquake
burrowing 'neath
three hundred feet walls.

^
No surprise at all,you always have the most ground shaking endings...

No exception,like every single time
a write made to perfection...
I can see you have such an eye for detail
and it is very clear in your poetry...

well done,Lovie! very Well done!!!