I have to agree here, with the judges of colm's contest, that you went a bit overboard with the vocabs here. Surely sharp diction is an important part of most dark poems, but knowing you, you can do much better than let the words rule your poem. As far as I know, our queen is always able to let her creativity and tone rule her poems. :)

The first stanza was fine (regarding diction), and yes, "niveous" is certainly a word. I think the image of this pale face would've become soft if you just said "snow", so I understand why you choose "niveous".

"hang above her niveous plain face"
^ "hang" should be "hanging"

The second stanza is much heavier compared with the first one. I like the idea of this sea floor, and the dark deepness of it. This can be expressed with less adjectives as well. You have a tendency of emphasizing things that are already strong enough on its own, I feel. Perhaps you were trying to fill up some syllable space, for the sake of flow, but remember that the flow can also be interrupted by use of sounds that create a tongue-twister-effect.

I guess I liked the passenger poem more. But I know you were blocked, hell I didn't like anything I wrote for that contest. =p

Not sure how I missed this one but anyway I'm here now.

Each of your poems is a lesson in vocabulary, a journey to a new place . With your words we could travel around the world and see all the interesting things you pen without ever leaving home..Writing is vivid and clear, emotional and brilliant

This to me was like reading song lyrics. There was something about this that screamed metal! it sounded like something Opeth or Draconian would sing.

A powerful write

5/5