"I remember I could not wait to wake up the next day, days upon days.
With the sun brightening my room and its light shining on my face.
To check my cell to see if you texted me "Goodmorning Babe" and I'll reply "Goodmorning Lover" "Goodmorning Chad" or "Love of my life."
During the days lately, I think about death.
I think about my pain killers, I think about my kitchen knife.
Now when I go to sleep, I don't want to wake up into this lifeless reality.
Where I also get abused, all ways possible..
The beauty I felt in my heart that ruined my life for good.
You were and will always be the one person place or thing that brought me back to life when my abusive family or gone friends would not.
Now your gone baby...
Why do people always leave me.
After you, I don't trust anyone anymore.
I can't..
Cant was never in my vocabulary.
But I can heartly say I really can't and never will trust anyone again or get over us not being in love..together.
Want to know a secret?
At night, when the stars are gleaming bright.
I would make make a wish on a star.
Praying for us to meet eachother being an agnostic, and be happily together..forever.
Dying hand in hand, however it may come to us.
I pray we go at the same time, so neither has to look sorrow on the face.
There is something about you Chad James Pattison like no other guy I will ever know...
Crying or dying is my only option now and I don't want to cry forever for you.
You hurt's too much.
Just know that you were & will always be good enough for me, even when I have nothing else.
I Love You Always Forever
