Forbidden Song...

" The illegitimate dreams of failing desires
Burning obscurely in my deserted heart,
Hope dribbles through the cleft once I mend
Frozen tears and love abandoned. "

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WTH!! now that's how you open a poem lol holy crap dude you nailed this write, GREAT word choice and emotion all the way through and it flows like water.

Aweseomness.

Ben

Karan, this is beautiful. I love the imagery especially the image of hope dribbling, loved that line.
This is powerful and 'love' can hurt like hell, can't it?

All the best, Em

Amazing lines~

"Forbidden songs from haunted past
Vibrant as hues on the rim of horizon,
Words so sweet once spoken
Upon the tides the promises broken."

Nice flow...5/5!

Ray

Wow you actually remind me of Robert Frost,,,a fantastic poem I loved it it's all sooo wonderful and perfectly written :) you worded it greatly and I love love loved it,,,very magnificent :) :) 100/100

The illegitimate dreams of failing desires
Burning obscurely in my deserted heart,
Hope dribbles through the cleft once I mend
Frozen tears and love abandoned.
~ my favorite stanza though it was hard to chose for thee entire poem was super excellent :)

This rhymed really well, Karan. Haven's seen your poetry in quite a while..

I feel what you are trying to convey and yes, it's hard when people make promises they don't deliver and you have to go on without hope for a good ending, all by yourself.

Well done,

5/5 Ingrid