Never have i truly opened up.
Just fragments of what was on my mind,
Lets see what all I can spill...
What will happen in time?
I'm going to be completely honest.
Those of you who fill the need,
I'm going to be just fine,
So please don't think
I'm in need.
My heart starts to pound,
My heart beating all full speed.
Anytime i think,
Of anything so weak.
I hear voices, In the back
OF my mind,
Yelling at each other,
Of who's time.
I'm many different people.
But i'm scared to say who.
The girl you meet yesterday...
Is someone completely new...
Its hard for me to feel,
Its terribly hard to think.
The only way I function,
Is threw bleeding it out of me.
Each cut is like a Threat.
To tally up the lies.
Threw sweat and tears,
Trial and error,
Ill beat this illness..
Or ill die all together.
I was told theirs no hope,
Only pills can make
me Really me.
I'm being suffocated by mask's..
I just want to be free.
These chains of illusion,
Of reality and Dream.
I'm trying to look past it,
But i see no grand scheme.
I feel like there's something out to get me,
In a whole that's so paranoid.
I'm trying to search to find meaning,
To fill this empty void.
Like i know its my voice,
But I'm filled with so much
Doubt, When its not my words,
That are coming out my mouth.
Then its numb, I don't know who i am.
The emotion i was faking, Isn't worth a damn.
I'm better off this way, Why do i feel the need.
To even try to Empathize,
Its a stupid thing to me.
I don't want to know the sorrow, Just push it all away...
And then I'm changing yet again,
To a different time and place.
I'm Being filled with darkness,
No one seems to understand.
I'm barley breathing,
I'm fighting for air,
But this is looking pretty bad.
But if you truly looked,
If only you knew.
The girl you meet yesterday...
Is someone completely new...
Today I am quite,
No Today I've gone mad.
Today is just fine,
The best i Ever had.
Today is Nothing,
I couldn't even think.
Over the thoughts and confusion.
One messed up illusion.
There's many words,
And many things,
And many plots,
To all these things.
I wish i could explain more,
Maybe in due time,
I cant pull anymore from
This chaotic mind.
