Daniel

I should be over him...
But I can't forget about him...
I've got an amazing guy.
One who loves me for me
and treats me amazingly,
so why do I keep thinking about him?
If it hurts this much
I guess it has to be love.
I want to let him go,
let them be together
happily
and not want to die
every time I see them.
I want to accept that
me and him are over
and live my life
like it doesn't kill me.
I'm still breathing.
That's a good sign right?
I should be dead
if I can't live without him,
right?
But that's just it.
I feel dead inside.
I may not literally -be- dead,
but my heart is.
My soul is.
My spirit is.
He used to hold me so tight.
And all I want is for it to be like that again.
I want to be wrapped in his arms,
and to feel his heartbeat again.
I was his world,
but not anymore.
Now he has her...
I'm happy for them...
They seem happy together...
But it still hurts to see them
and know that that used to be me...
That he used to hold me like he does her...
I wonder if he looks at her
like he did me.
I wonder if he tells her the things he told me.
And promises her the things he promised me.
Does he kiss her and feel anything?
Is it stronger than what he felt with me?
Did he feel anything with me...?
Was everything he told me...
True....?
Was there ever a moment that he truly meant Forever...?
Maybe it was wrong of me to think I could keep him...
He was the only person I could imagine
spending the rest of my life with...
It's funny how I can sit there
and lie to everyone,
saying that I'm ok
and that I've moved on,
and they believe me.
But none of it's true.
I'm breaking apart completely.
Piece by piece
I die inside.
I say I moved on,
but I still can't sing our songs.
I still can't go to the places we went.
I still can't see him without my heart
falling to pieces all over again.
He gave me feelings
that I thought existed
only in fairytales.
And even tho he let me go,
and things aren't how they were before,
I'm always gonna be here for him.

Daniel...
I know you probably aren't reading this...
But I love you...
I always have.
And I always will.
I've loved you from the moment I met you,
I just didn't realize that that was what the incredible feeling I felt inside was...
But now I do...
It's been more than a year since I fell in love.
If one day...
You decide that you love me too...
And that I'm what you want...
I'll still be here...
My love for you isn't going anywhere.
What I said was true.
Forever and ever.
To never end.
Even after the world stops spinning,
and my heart stops beating,
I will still love you....

Mwahugzz darling.....