New Light
by E Dacaf Oct 13, 2011
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It was the darkest it has ever been, you entered my field of vision and it was as if the sun erupted. Blinding light poured forth in to my dark and empty crater. We came to each other. You then ran circles around me, orbiting me. I could not help smiling for the rest of the night. The light has yet to fade. |
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Latest Comments
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12 years agoby Decayed
I agree with Jenni, but maybe because it's of small length that one is prompted to read it.
And oh, it was romantic with all the lights and the fading at the end. It felt really smooth. Great job. -
13 years ago
by Paul Gondwe
This poem is lavly, the ending is just brilliant. You have your own style which is good i must say.
5/5 -
13 years ago
Wow very awesome and fantastic and lovely aw what am i sayin i loved it :) 5/5
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13 years ago
by Jenni
First of all I'd like to recommend you to think about a better way of presenting this poem because the way it is right now it may seem rather scaring off than inviting. People do not seem to be interested into seeing "a wall of text", but prefer stanzas, I guess you know what I mean. If you did break up the lines it'd flow better too and stress specific things more than others. Alright enough with that.
Your words portray a vivid image. I like how I got the possibility to literally imagine this and see it happen in my head. Your words fit to what you were describing and I could not think of better. The emotions you convey are strong, heartfelt and captivating. This poems seems to be really sincere. I have to agree with the comment above: I really like the last sentence. It is encouraging. Overall it was a pleasure to read this poem and it'd be even inviting for the eyes if you edited it a little. -
13 years ago
This was quite lovely. I like the form; the one stanza, more like prose but poetically laced. "The light has yet to fade." -- Beautiful, a positive, uplifting piece.
