Sweet rain

by Freya   Oct 15, 2011


When I say good bye to you
My love
I really mean goodbyegoodbyegoodbyegoodbye

Like a train drives away from our station
When the sky holding the rain in his arms

The sweet rain
so warm and lovely
burn out the marks in your heart

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    I agree with the above.
    You have the wording down just need to find the flow, fine tune with some editing and find the theme making it clear. Keep it up Talent is blooming

  • 13 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    I feel their is more wanting to be said here but i loved it,,,the flow was a lil off but was still good and a good read,,i did enjoy :)

    When the sky holding the rain in his arms

    The sweet rain
    so warm and lovely
    burn out the marks in your heart
    -these are the lines i liked most but still i can't put my finger on whats missing or what's really trying to be said but it was good and keep up the good work :)

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