Unexplained

by XblackrainbowsX   Oct 18, 2011


Red water.
Purple tears.
Please dont let that time be near.
Cold and heartless.
Isolated and forgotten.
Thats not true. I'll never forget you.
Death taunts me.
It screams it wants me.
That horriable image haunts me.
It makes me wanna run far away.
Just forget that painful day.
How when all it does is play over and over all day in my head.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Kelwin lost in thought

    Oh nice. Love it

  • 13 years ago

    by Kelwin lost in thought

    Oh nice. Love it

  • 13 years ago

    by Kelwin lost in thought

    Oh nice. Love it

  • 13 years ago

    by XblackrainbowsX

    Thanks. for the comment. and yu didnt sound mean. yu told me like it is.
    thanks

  • 13 years ago

    by BlueJay

    There is a glut of emotion in this piece. I think you have done an amazing job. Excellent job, I see a lot of talent and hope in you. Keep practicing and one day your poetry may make you big.

    On to this piece. Awesome word choice, though it isn't as stunning as I would have hopped. You are lacking in flow and grip. This seems to be pure emotion and steam which can make or break a poem. The author's voice is shown but it is quite weak. I like this piece, but it is unorigonal and it has nothing to make it stand out. To be quite honest it is plain and I see so much room for improvement.

    I know I sound cruel here, but I hope you can forgive me and maybe you will just learn from this piece. Then again, this is just my opinion and someone else may love this. Keep up the writing and I will keep reading.

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