Love's Crunching Debris

Holly,

I love the use of time in poetry, from months, numbers, dates etc it's something that has an antique quality to it and the imagery tends to remind me of old sepia photographs. This piece had that quality to it which was lovely to see, especially since it's a love poem with sadness fluttering throughout.

I was particularly fond of the imagery in the first stanza, autumn is my favourite season and I could picture you walking through a park, leavings crunching beneath your feet, again this created that antique picture even though it was of a recent time. I liked how anyone, anywhere, from any generation could read this and relate to it.

In the second stanza, second line, I'd remove "yet" as it doesn't really work well in this context. In the third stanza, second line, I think the poem would read with a better flow if you removed "with it"

"I hear October mocking me"

I loved this line, especially the personification of mocking! Great job.

This was a nice poem Holly, good job.
-Mel

January brings the new year
and with it hope for what I deserve
A chance at renewal
companionship and trust

^ I love this stanza, it takes a sad piece and gives it an ounce of hope and something positive!!

I loved the title, it drew me in!
The last line totallyy changed the mood of this poem, it made it dark and sad right when that one stanza made it hopeful. I kind of like that there was more than one tone here :) Great write