The last of me

Its four in the morning,
and I'm awake.

Its nights like these..
that get to me,
laying here in my bed
with my eyes wide open
writing cliche poetry
because my mind
is too exhausted to
come up with clever metaphors...

when.. like any other girl
my age I should be
chasing my crush in my dreams..

lost in some disney inspired
love story,that involves
a happy ending..

except that I'm not
like any other girl my age..

long before my hips
widened and
my chest became swollen
with womanhood

I knew,that I was
another deal..

but,
the world has no need
to know,that sometimes
I curse the girl in the mirror
the one that is insecure,
and second guesses herself.

no one has to know,
just how deeply I feel
for certain people
and how insignificant
I feel all the time..

and that
I have forgotten what it
feels like,just to have
someone that remembers me..

that the very last time
I felt warm,
was because I had
a loveless appointment
beneath sheets..
those I have at times
when I feel like it..

no,
the world does not have to know.

that my life is heading
no where..and that my dreams
are chained to where I come from.

no one needs to know
how vulnerable I feel lately..
and that I am awake at four
in the morning because
I felt the need to weep about
things I can't change..

the same way,
no one has to know
that I do not plan on staying down..

don't count me out just yet,
this is far from over..you haven't seen the last of me.

----------
title and last stanza borrowed from
'The last of me' by Cher..
whole piece inspired by the song..
you should check it out..