Comments : Sparkle

  • 13 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Awww... so short yet so sweet! I loved the picture you expressed... I know exactly what you've described - and that moment really is so beautiful! I love seeing the innocent smiles on kids, and how happy they are and how anything can make them laugh. This poem reminded me of my niece <333 great job sweetie!

  • 13 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I don't know, girlie, if I grasped this poem in the right way, you were talking about children, am I mistaken? You made this write simple and that is in my opinion smart, because you were talking about little ones and they are simple. You didn't use complicated words, BUT unique ones, yes! and thats why I'm here to comment.

    I don't know if that was an entry of yours in Abby's contest but, using the word microscope was clever, although, you know sparkles outshine and they don't need a microscope... :/ I don't kno maybe it's just me, but if you take off the sparkles and instead say:

    "If I could microscope their eyes
    I would have captured
    a sparkle that is worth a million words."

    ^
    This way sounds much better for me, though I might be drunk and talk nonsense lol but still I want to suggest this...:) 'can' should be 'could', dearrrr. :)
    I love how you said 'a milion words' then made the poem short! as if youare speechless o can't find words, that was AGAIN clever! :D
    Really like this write, think it is one of your best, till now. ;)

    Five and a nomination next week.