Quite an intriguing piece. I read it over and over and so much of it stood out that I can't even pick a favorite line or stanza. You have taken something so simple as a hand or an act of holding ones hand and written about it beautifully.
Keep it up!

I feel like 'it' was used too many times. Reading through I feel like everything was just an 'it' when referring to his palm/hand. I feel like you could've used the actual words (palm especially) other than just in the end and still had an effect.

First stanza, the idea of lips slumbering felt kind of odd to me. Lips don't really sleep, and slaves work for masters. It was a little conflicting.

An example of removing an it would be:

"Carried by it is the weight of my cheek
when its caressed in such adoration "

could be:

"Carried is the weight of my cheek
when caressed with such adoration"

It still makes sense, but takes out the consistency of 'its'. Brings a different feel, I think.

I like the idea of the third stanza a lot, but I would use something like intertwined or wrapped rather than laced. Lace is too elegant of a sound for rope - lace reminds me of either lingerie (lol) or laced ribbons etc. A rope is even more intertwined, lace to me seems like it'd not as 'strong', ya know?

Last stanza I felt wrapped up the poem nicely, and actually was my favorite. You often leave serious decisions to your other half, you want them to have the same amount of control you do in your future. I thought that portrayed this idea very well! :)

Chels,

I have to agree with Britt on the use of 'Its' I felt like it was a little overused in this context, though I must say I disagree with the idea of lips slumbering I thought this was quite beautiful. It reminded me of how a man generally kisses a woman on his hands and it lingers for a while, kind of like they are sleeping in a way, they're in comfort, they're warm, just like one woud be in bed.

I liked the use of lace it reminded me of a gentle touch, like the brush of two hands together.. bounded even as they do in hand-fasting ceremonies at weddings ( I know it's a wiccan thing not sure if it's traditional however) but I did get what you were saying here and enjoyed it.

As suggested if you removed some of the its I feel the poem would flow a lot easier and have a softer tone to it, apart from that I truly enjoyed this read.

Mel.

This was so sweet! Makes someone want to fall in love. :) I don't have any critiques because Britt and Mel covered it all. What I will say, thought, is how this had me smiling and feeling happy for the person and that they have found their significant other.

Very cute love poem!

This poem is filled with how much love you feel for him. Saying nothing can separate the two of you. How in the end it all comes down to him with the decision.

Great Job :)
It flowed perfectly.
5/5

That was such a heartwarming poem
like someone said makes someone want to fall in love
its such a beautifull way to write about this
its a very touching poem of love and I hope its true cause these words deserve to be <3 hehe

lovely writing

This a well put together love poem. I cannot find anything wrong with it. I liked how you gave the poem depth without overloading the reader with too much detail. It's like you had the perfect place for everything.

5/5

Held by it is my future,
that I so trustingly give to you.
Leaving every wise decision,
in the palm of your hands..

Wow..beautiful lines..can turn anyone decision..

Fp