Angel vs. Devil

Since this was the shorter poem I read over the other one you gave me the title of, I decided to comment specifically on every stanza here.

"I've spent most of my life
Wanting to drown these tears
And hide myself forever
Away from all these fears."

- Good flow here. You have a simplistic way of expressing yourself, but it furthermore leaves the reader with more depth betwen the lines.

"But I can't help but notice
The little figure on both sides
Just resting on each shoulder
One telling truths and the other one lies."

- First line: You can remove the first "But" since you already use it later in the line and I dont' feel it's needed.

- Second line: Too wordy, you can condense this possibly to:

"Telling of truths and lies"

and the reader will understand what you're talking about.

"A conscience is what they are called
One side good, the other side bad
They try to talk you though life
The happy times and the sad."

- "They" should be "it" since you're speaking of a single conscience.

"But do you see here
At what they really are
The Devil beneath the earth
And an Angel above the stars."

- Second line: Read again. The "at" isn't needed.
- Like how you phrase those last two lines to give that clear cut image. It's all too easy to picture from movies and cartoons the little figures on our shoulders, but what if there's more to it. That they actually exist as a figure, as a force?

"The angel tries to comfort
The tears that pour down
While the devil makes it worse
With his dreadful little frown."

- Find this to be a bit cliche, just my opinion though. I mean I like the part about the angel comforting, I can imagine that but the part about the devil almost downplays his role. Like he is not as destructrive, cunning....

"He wants me to parish
And join him down below
"A fine daughter you will make
One I will surely not let go."'

- Wrong use of parish. It should be the verb "perish" that you mean here.
- Good dialogue, this is what I was looking for with the seriousness. It definitely takes a hold of you because now the reader can begin to understand how possessive the Devil can be, naming and then saying you belong to him.

"I start to draw my attention
Toward what the devil had to offer
But the angel stood her ground
Nothing would stop her."

- You change tenses in the second line. Watch out for that. "had" should be "has" snice you began this piece with present.
Good persistance with the angel, because she cares and will not let you be taken.

Next three stanzas should all be present tense if I'm not mistaken?

"The angel warned me
Of the dark secrets of my past
She told me my future will be different
If I ignored the devil's contract."

- Contract is a strong word, it's very binding. Great influence here because it is a warning to not get caught up in what the Devil has.

"I don't want the past to find me
So I tuned out the devil's voice
And focused on my guardian angel
Who will always be my first choice."

- I really likedthe first line and the tie-in with your dark secrets. It gives it this emotional relatability that we don't want to be discovered, but that we want to heal, move ahead with our lives. And with that ending line, you are encouraged, confident you will choose her now.

"She spoke, "The Father, the Lord
Will now place you on His right
For you fought off the devil
And became who you are tonight."'

- Lovely dialogue and I didn't miss the fact you said "right side" just like biblically, where the angel is at the Lord's right side. I also liked how this struggle is taken day by day. That on that night you turned away from the Devil and can continue doing so.

Good piece, keep it up.

U r good..great imagery u hav..u captivated me in this piece..had my intention all through out..u r good with words, i lavd it.