Lost for words

Lost for words,
my first love, whom was my
everything,
still loves me,
not knowing what to do,
or what to think,
this kills me inside.

Never thought I'd hear those
words out of my best friends mouth,
his brother told me girl;
he still loves you,
speechless, jaw dropped,
in complete utter shock.

Stomach starts hurting,
how can this be bothering me,
the answer is clear,
i still love him, i still care,
we haven't talked in a while,
but the fire i thought died,
is still barely going.

Lost for words,
no, you can't let this bother you
is what I'm telling myself,
wiping away the pouring tears,
I tell myself, he lost you,
he let you go,
remembering how she said
it really bothered him when you left,
pains me inside.

I still love him,
fighting so hard to make myself
believe I was over him,
to push myself away from the thoughts,
when all along,
the love was still there,
speechless, like a mime,
i have no idea what to think anymore.