Going crazy

I'm crazy, I'm crazy,
I'm falling hard
Pregnant with blood and sorrow
Nothing in my heart.

There are dark spaces in my mind
Like shadows on the wall
And what I thought was half alive
Was never there at all

There's no limit to my love
I'm swimming overboard
Pushing at the boundaries
Crying against the wall.

***

I wish I could go crazy,
But I am just too sane
I've lost my life before,
I can't crawl back again

I wish I could be free
Scream what's in my heart
But walls keep us together
Stop us falling apart

I wish I could stop caring
But I've loved too hard
I can't become a lover
I will always be a child

I wish these traps weren't clear,
The chains were just my mind
I'd run, but when I stopped,
I don't know who I'd find.

***

I sit in blood
Surrounded by blood
Blood on me, in me,
Bloody mind

And the blood is life
Given from me
Naked, dying,
Inconceivable

I am empty,
I am alone
But I will bleed forever
For what is mine