Forgotten

I've been reading all your poems Yaki I've just been all over the place as you know, but I did read the one when you submitted it and I couldn't resist coming back to leave a comment.

I don't think you need the comma in the first line after costumes. I know the intention you wanted here was to have that pause effect but I feel you already had that impact by breaking the lines up.

I liked this piece, you know you've always written sad poetry but lately I feel as though you've been writing from a different perspective, it's almost as though you've found more worth within yourself, your strong and I'm loving seeing this evident through your words. Might seem strange that I mention this within this particular poem but while it's got that emotional impact of feeling like someone isn't missing you it also has that strength I speak about in the last line, the tone of it.. it's more like yes that hurt but your okay with it, you've learnt to deal.

This piece had that natural beauty to it, it was poetic and yet I felt as though you and I could have this conversation and you tell me this story, the element of how you made the reader feel as though you were literally having that conversation with them was something I enjoyed.

"I found you,
that beautiful face time
always seem to skip by.."

I liked how this could be interpreted in many ways, to me I gathered you were speaking of someone older, how time never really changes the beauty they have, even as they age.. but of course as mentioned I could also see it take on a few different meanings.

This poem was lovely as always sweets.
Mel.