For you

Now that you're gone
everything rushes back to me
being 5, time spent upon your knee
the world too big for the size of me
stories about Vietnam
and your time in France
that 1st dance with grandma ginette
love at first sight you said
you spoke of Paris like it was yesterday
and your grandpa's stories like they came from a book
my 6'1" protector
a gentle giant
we did everything together whenever we could
remember when we made homemade peach cobbler together?
never tasted anything better!
in the summer,
taking the fruit from that single tree
but I was to small to reach
thank goodness you picked some for me
Dad dropping me off at your house on the way to work
630 am was early on the weekends but well worth it
you taught me how to skip
god knows that wasn't easy
even let me help with repairs.
I remember when you found that box
the one that even brought a tear to your eye
I honestly believed you couldn't cry
as caring as your were,
it didn't seem like a possibility
when you took out that yellow picture
your grandma and grandpa
you spoke of them like they were golden
telling me about how hot it was in Mississippi
and the games you used to play
then you pulled out a book from when your were in the seventh grade!
I was stunned It was neatly written and still legible after so many years
still a noticed a glistening tear
I couldn't explain your heartache and sadness
until now..
now I'm beginning to feel.
just the other day...
I found an ice cube tray
no significance to others ...
only to me.
you see, it was the ice cube tray that formed sea shells
the one you bought for me when I had the flu
my throat swollen, liquids were a must
those ice cubes were pretty.
at the age of 7
it made everything better.
I couldn't believe how hard it made me cry
now looking back
I wish I wouldn't have let others stand in my way..
I shouldve spent time with you everyday
but those moments are treasured
golden, I understand why now.
The day of your funeral
the room was packed tight
people you had touched with you cheery and hope filled smile
no I wasn't surprised
everything they said was true
if anyone deserved to live forever it was you
and I smile when I say I think you tried
you fought that cancer like Id never seen before
gave it a run for its money
even though I know you knew it would soon close your door
yet you were never afraid
you told me it would all be ok
I was told the day that you died you told them all God was on your side
you and your beliefs
tighter than anything Id seen
theres no way that wasn't true.
the day of your burial
it rained lightly
a mist
I heard those taps play
the ones you told me about at your grandfathers funeral
and my heart began to break...
with every note
I felt pieces chip away
every blank from the salute
a bullet throw hearts.
when we laid you quietly upon the earth
I realized what you had done for me
the hope you inspired in my heart
through tough times you pulled me through
yet I never said thank you
until now...
thank you grandpa
just in case you never knew what you meant to me
I love you and I hope I do good in your eyes
Love,
Ginnie