Comments : Wall Of Silence

  • 13 years ago

    by SiLeNtLy ScReAmInG

    I liked the poem, short and to the point. One thing I didn't quite understand however was the use of apostrophes. It didn't seem necessary as far as I could tell the words you used them on were neither possessive or a contraction. I suppose you could of meant "something is too difficult to say" but it seemed more like it should be "some things" and that you were just using the apostrophes to make the words plural when it isn't necessary. I did really like the rhyme scheme though. Flawless and not forced at all. The poem as a whole flowed really well. I could relate to the poem, I think most people can, because as the poems says "everyone has secrets" I think my favorite stanza was the first one though. I feel that it gives the reader a straight away view of what the poem is about, while also telling one of life's truths. We all have secrets and even those who know us best will never know everything, and there truly are things that it takes to much to let go of. A short write, but a good one.

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I disagree, I think that the rhymes seemed a little forced, and the flow was a little rocky, due to the up and down syllable count.
    Howver, I like the message behind this, short and to the point.

    Love Tara
    xxx

  • 13 years ago

    by average thoughts

    Wel short and nicely written in saying what u wantd to say..d msg is clear..
    Evry one has secrets of being hurt,which we cant share with js anyone.
    Smtimes we get to meet nice ppl we knw they can hlp bt yt we guard our emotions by being silent..
    Coz either we hv a fear that they wil hurt us too aftr knwing that we are nt strng or it wil hurt them too knowing that we are nt happy..
    Ful points..dear

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenni

    I'll simply start with the title ("Wall of Silence"): I think that it fits to the poem and is eye-catching. It doesn't give too much away and is not too vague either, it's a really good mixture, besides I also like the atmosphere it creates.

    Bottled up emotion
    Something's you'll never know
    Everyone has secrets
    Sometimes it's too hard to let go

    ^ This is a good introductory stanza because it gave me, as the reader, the possibility to imagine what this poem will be about and what direction it will lead into. The fact that this is very relateable made the whole poem even more interesting, to me at least.

    Guards up for a reason
    Wall around my heart
    Pushing it all away
    Anything not to fall apart

    ^ Your poems content developes by the typical reaction: people locking their heart away because of being afraid to get hurt and pushing close people away though they never intended to let you down. It's wrong, but it still happens and that's mainly caused by disappointment and fear. Your stanza made that quite obvious.

    Built up these defense's
    Something's too difficult to say
    Everyone has secrets
    Sometimes silence is the only way

    ^ The first stanza tells about the situation, the second about the circumstances or causes while the third feels like a solution though it is more of an excuse than a solution to me. Preferably staying quiet and keeping things to yourself so that others won't worry, won't figure, but how to expect help then?

    Overall I think this is a well written poem, that'd be even better if you inserted some punctuation. I have to admit that the apostrophes confused me a little and distracted me from the poem itself, but I actually agree to Silently Screaming about the flow, to me it was smooth because though the syllable amount changed, you kept the same in the second next, which made it alright. Furthermore were the emotions clear and I didn't have to guess what the meaning of this poem might be.