Hypothetical Garden

This imagery reminds me of a longing to return to the garden of paradise

great free flow

Nana,

I have been wanting to comment on this for several days, but life has prevented me from being able to do so.

I love this piece and how it screams out to the reader. I can feel your loneliness, heartache, and sadness.

This piece is absolutely amazing and definitely deserves to be nominated.

The wording is true art and opens up all the raw emotions for the reader. I felt as though I was sitting there watching you and not just reading a few lines.

Thank you for sharing this.

Nana this poem is beyond my thoughts and very difficult for me to understand.. because i want to be a honest with you.. so be honest i really did not understand this poem meaning and idea. as i told you this is beyond my thoughts and something that is not in my perception..

it would be definitely a good piece even i didn't understand.. that's why i cannot say something about this poem. i wish i have such heart and thinking to understand it.. and i would elaborate it like always i elaborate your poems in my own words... very difficult this time..

hope you wrote and found what you wanted to achieve by writing this poem...

take care
your friend
Alone

Awww... Nana, as always, your poems really touch me! I loved the title - it immediately caught my eye. I liked the sadness and rawness of this poem... I like the idea of screaming alone, within four walls.. and feeling like 'nothing' ... I think the emotions you expressed are very relatable. I like that this is a cold, sad room, and how you describe it as gibberish at the end.. as the reader, I felt like this was true, and this person is truly lost and by the end of this poem, is speaking nonsense or going crazy from the hurt and decided to sleep it off... and the pattern continues... That's the way I interpreted it anyway!!

Well done sweetie! Another amazing poem by the lovely Ms Sunshine <3

First, the title is stunning: Hypothetical Garden?

^ This can be real something, something great. You're just visualizing a garden..!! It provokes me.

It's sad that I raise my voice
in a room raised by four
walls of mirage, and perhaps
surrounded by meaningless clutter.
That only fools, understand the
depth of the unawareness in my words

^ I can hear the tone here. Speaking so LOUDLY.. with no boundaries. Shrieking in the face of nothingness! Amazing opening..

to arrive from nothing, to follow naught
then fall in love with a zero,
so sad to end up being a mad storm
or perhaps not to end up at all..

^ the last two lines has just something so wise for me.. and falling in love with a zero? That really had me pondering.

It's not sad, it's actually terrible to
raise my voice in such a cold room
raised over debris, with a ceiling
equipped with disappointment ,
a window that views on hills of discontent

^ Why do you insist in making me sad? and discontented?
But at any level, if poetry, like acting, is just transforming atmospheres/emotions to the reader/viewer. Then you're a real poetess.. You make'em feel and live with the poem.

that opens on trees gathered
by a fog of lost answers, faces,
seats, and empty cups pushed by
frigid winds,
a chain of shuddering belongings
that absolutely belong to none!

^ Omg.. my favorite stanza. So hypothetical, indeed.. but so stormy.. and cold. I love those materialistic objects, combined with noon-materialistic (answers) you have used. They just give life to the poem and embark on provoking imagination. LOVE it.

Visions filled with ice...
such a cold evening, this one.
Living in a hypothetical garden
of love and happiness.
So excuse me, and my sad gibberish
I might just sleep for a real while now.

^ GIBBERISH is so smooth though it sounds rough. It really helps your idea. It came in the right place, supporting the hypothetical thoughts.

And the end? As if so tired of what's been said and imagined.. and you just need some rest, for a fresh new start and for those thoughts of happiness and sadness to go...!!

Nana. I'm so impressed right now.

A nomination is a must, for this one.

HIGH HIGH HIGH Five :)