Very well written! For being a longer poem you did an excellent job and didn't skip a beat!! my favorite lines were

Now the wind has sharpened its teeth,
It nips and bites into my skin,
and
The clouds are turning red,
My vision going black

Truly Great poem!!!

This is a great poem i put you in my favorite authors tab.. keep up the great work. would love for you to read my poems and comment back. mine are short but quick to the point

This is a great poem i put you in my favorite authors tab.. keep up the great work. would love for you to read my poems and comment back. mine are short but quick to the point

'Dearest,do you remember me, coz i do'
jus reading this part, i knew this was going to be good and i was correct...the message in this is real and ur wording is superb..great piece

I have to agree with all the above. Excellent write vivid and intense.

I thought this was an amazing piec some of the rhymes were not to unique and quite common but the way you worded each stranza totaly changed the effect ... very deep write keep penning

tony x

Wow this piece is amazing. Great job. Excellent job with description and imagery. The word choice is fantastic. 5/5

I really enjoyed this poem!

Very emotional and raw! A well written poem

The clouds are turning red,
My vision going black,
Somehow, somewhere you disappeared,
And there's a knife thrust in my back.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The whole poem flowed well but this stanza stood out at me. I loved the words here and the rhyming is awesome

So much is said about the relationship in this stanza alone.

I love it

x

Wow!!! :)

To be honest it is so great well done

That was an amazing poem i felt every word which doesn't come from a good writer it comes from a great one

Wow! This is a wonderful poem you did an amazing job!!! Absolutly perfect

"The words have all gone blurry,
Or perhaps the problem is in my eyes,
I just can't seem to tell anymore,
The difference between the truth and lies."

oooh I like this stanza, its strong, and the last lines gives it that extra pinch.

"The clouds are turning red,
My vision going black,
Somehow, somewhere you disappeared,
And there's a knife thrust in my back."

I love the visualisation in this part, good play on the words too.

"There's blood splattered on the ground,
And vultures circling overhead,
Something's wrong, my darling,
Don't they only prey upon the dead?"

you know, I was only planning on pointing out a few stanzas that really stood out but there are so many in this piece, and the question you asked at the end of the above stanza is, well, genius. I do like a good dark poem, usually they're all basically the same just with a different topic or worded differently, but this was different all by itself, very good imagery in this. nicely done.

Dearest, do you remember me,
Because I remember you,
When all my skies are grey,
And my heart is feeling blue.

The poem defnitely started out sad.... was a sad opening...... &&& I like the tone of it....i like how you used dearest..puts an eerie feeling to the poem somehow..Im a an od dark poetry and when I see one i like it a lot but i loved this one.. so keep on writiging... it was well written and nice rhymes too .....i think it makes it more enjoyable for the reader..... good job on this sad piece....