With this ring( Collab with Tony)

by Cinnamonspice   Nov 20, 2011


Total darkness but the small light
Of a candle burning on a glass table
Sweet melodies play to serenade her,
As I wait in anticipation to start

'Our forever'

She walks in and silence surrounds
The room, as I pull out a little box
I get down on bended knee and
Look into her eyes, I smile and say

'I love you'

I give you this ring as a promise
I'll never let you down, forever
Ill be true, my blond princess
I'll love you for the rest of my life

'Will you marry me?'

The quiet of the moment engulfs me.
Four little words creating a vacuum
Silence that deafens and surrounds.
Sucking the air from my lungs.

"I've waited so long"

The candles flame seems to spark
Burning brighter releasing a fragrance,
of romance, mingled with desires.
Acceptance of love fills the night

"I love you"

I surrender willingly into your arms.
With the acceptance of this ring
I give my life to you, my heart
Forever is a promise placed on my finger

"Our forever"

Collab with Tony aka poet behind the poems
please comment on his also
http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=1181237

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Liliana

    Great job you two, I cannot say who wrote what and the choice of words was beautifully chosen :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Nice collab. I like the format with the phrases between the verses. Very touching and sweet poem.

  • 13 years ago

    by NightFlyer

    Beautiful collaboration here. The stanzas really paint the picture of this romantic moment mingled with the quoted lines that add to the emotion. Well done!

  • 13 years ago

    by The Queen

    I think you both did a good job here with harmonious lines of consistent meter and stressed. I love it, such a sweet poems! I agree, you two should do this often!

  • 13 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    Connie & Tony: Truly, a very romantic poem capturing the beauty of such a night, a dream for each lover to build castles on one day, to enact the promises and pledges to fruition, one day. A truly touching and joyous poem to melt all those longing hearts in love.

    The punch lines after each stanza are beautiful....each holding a promise of a new tomorrow, for lovers to fulfiill...

    'Our forever'

    'I love you'

    'Will you marry me?'

    "I've waited so long"

    "I love you"

    "Our forever"

    My only comments (from this readers point of view only).......

    The first punch line could be
    "Ours forever" (implying the intended plurality in a proposal)
    Similarly, the last punch line should be "Forever ours" (a word play to reflect the pledge in the ring).

    And perhaps a minor word play
    "The candle flames seems to spark"
    instead of "The candles flame seems to spark"

    A very heartwarming verse to warm the hearts and minds of true lovers. A truly exotic write. 5/5

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