My mind

My mind takes me back yet again, to a time in my early years. A time I've tried so hard to keep buried deep, but once again I'm being forced to shed these sad tears. My hands shake unsteadily, as I fight so hard to not pick up the knife. There's a sharp pain in my chest as my heart breaks, as I make a cut and realize this will always be my life. People try to tell me, that I'm strong and can beat this. Easier said then done when everydays the same, suicide is always on my mind and I know it will bring me pure bliss. I don't think like normal people, my thoughts are horrible and very dark. Depression has dug itself deep inside me, and every night it leaves it's signature mark. My body is fragile and weak, from all the beatings and abuse. I will be consumed by the darkness in only a matter of time, and there will be nothing that can save me, so to fight there is no use. So I'll sit in silence waiting, knowing my end isn't that far away. I'll keep my agonizing pain hidden deep inside while secretly trying to cut it away, just patiently waiting to die and not be here another day.