Unnoticed

I tried so hard to do this prompt, and you and Lu just totally kicked butt.

"no one knew
you held a soul
full of summer,"

I love this. Wistful, sad, yet almost hopefuly.

The ending, no one wants to reply death anyways, is just fantastic. I absolutely love it.

I have read two poems about this subject so far and I am loving it! inspiring. gd work sweety

Somehow I felt very tranquil as I read this. Yes it was sad, but I had a feeling of peace. While at the same time I also felt a piercing ache in my heart. Very paradoxical. Both the poem and my feelings when I read it.

Too fragile to dream,
yet still capable
of wishing upon empty
stars..
^I loved how this was very paradox-like. You feel as though you can't dream anymore yet you can still wish upon stars, which gives that feeling of hope and makes this loneliness not seem as bad.

you sat there
with your knees bend
your mouth shut
and exclamation points
falling from your insides,
placing themselves
behind the word
"dead"
^'Bend' should be 'bent' - I must say I adored the exclamation points part, it makes me think of a fallen star and you wishing upon it. This connects so well with the stanza above this one. I found it odd however how you associate them with death, for normally I think of excitement when I see them in writing. Interesting, this has me thinking. I'm anticipating a very sad ending.

I loved how the ending unraveled, it was perfect. The sadness really sets in and makes your heart heavy with sadness. Loved how you went about Mel's prompt, you used it with much creativity. Well done Yaki!