Heartbreak on Steriods

Thank you. i will change what you said. and yes i did mean is not in. thank you so much. i wrote this when i was in a bad time. it means a lot to me that even through the tears writing this i still made sense thank you so much :)

I was a little nervous about reading this poem, because the lines start out short and gradually get longer. Usually that interrupts the flow. But I was completely wrong. Your poems flow was flawless, and the rhymes were really good. There was no awkward pauses or anything! :)

The emotion in this poem is easy to relate to and makes people want to read your poem. The word choice in some parts of your poem is very interesting, in a good way.

My favorite lines for good word choice are:

-Hearts just break, but never bend.

-Love is hard, but so is hate,
But only one can sometimes be fake.

-This heartbreak on steriods in starting to begin. [I like the word steroids here.]

This heartbreak on steriods in starting to begin.
^
I think you meant "is" instead on "in." :)

After this disaster I don't have feelings I no longer feel.
^
I would put a period after "feelings." It would make readers pause right there and "I no longer feel" would have a greater impact, and that's what you want at the end of a poem.

Overall, I was really surprised by this poem. It was very good. :)

Great job!

Cayce

Thank you ! it actrually does :) i'll change it now :)

This was a very cool poem. It flowed nicely and had good rhyme. the only thing I would change to make it flow easier in this spot would be

change:
Crying out tears, feel your heart broken,
You wish some words werent ever spoken.
to
Crying tears instead of crying out tears,,
or crying out, remove one of the words :-)
it breaks up the smooth read