Let Go

To change my tone
^
I think this poem is really good as it is, but I think the first stanza would flow a whooole lot better if you just took out the last line of it all together.

So you have five lines in each stanza, but for some reason the first stanza sounds better with four lines, and the last stanza definitely sounds better with the last line.

If you still wanted to keep them both five lines, I think I'd make the last line in the first stanza rhyme with "insist" instead of "alone." Maybe something like this:

Bury me in stone
So reason can exist
if left alone
Then hate will insist
[And I can't get over this] <---

See how it flows better?

I think the fifth line in the second stanza works, because "feign" and "way" still kinda rhyme.

But anyway. I really did like this poem. I think the shortness of it works out well. :)

Great job!

Cayce