Comments : The Demon Child

  • 13 years ago

    by L

    Incredible, I like the imagery.

    I could picture the baby sleeping and omg, Some movies are just popping in my head about demons and a child and for some reason " ghost whisperer" is in my mind right now.

    Excellent.

  • 13 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This whole thing is imagery therefore in my opinion it is absolutely amazing. I can see it all happening and my gosh it is gripping. Magnificent job with this piece.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lioness

    This poem is very daunting and scary!

    Makes me think twice about kids lol kidding I love kids!

    It reminds me of that freaky movie with Julia Stiles where her baby is evil!

    Well done with the poem. The imagery is amazing

    x

  • Baby blue eyes
    Soft blond hair
    Sleeping soundly
    Without a care

    ^^
    Flawless imagery here. I love how you painted something so innocent when the title suggests otherwise.

    But evil lurks
    It gets inside
    From its torment you
    Cannot hide

    ^^
    'you' should be joined to the beginning of the last line, I think. I really like how you are building the darkness of the piece with this stanza.

    Once so innocent
    Once so pure
    Now dragged in by
    The devils allure

    ^^
    Again, I think 'by' should be the beginning of the last line. Love this! All the darkness is inevitably revealed here.

    Demon child
    Angels forsake
    Tragedy when
    Baby awakes

    ^^
    You have flawlessly switched a dark mood towards something more melancholic. Really great work!

    Overall;
    I love the way you have arranged this poem building slowly to the dilemma and then twisting it. It goes to show that something that looks so sweet and innocent can in fact be your worst nightmare. Fantastic work!