Hard against my back

by Leona   Nov 28, 2011


Walking around with shame surrounding me in a rore of clouds.

My mistakes fall from the sky like rain.

Memories of the past pound with each crash of the thunder.

I try to escape the strikes of lighting, the light blinds me

I fall to the ground the mud covers my tears.

I lay not wanting to ever get back up.

Disappearing into the mistake filled puddle .

the rain falls hard against my back

2007

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    This was a really nice poem :) As poets we tend to "take possession" of our poems by using Me My And I. I am guilty of this as well. Try eliminating them wherever you can

    surrounding me in a rore of clouds.

    ^^^

    surrounded in a roar of clouds

    and

    My mistakes fall from the sky like rain.
    ^^^

    mistakes falling from the sky like rain....

    U get the idea. Overall though it is a very deep and wonderful poem

    Lostlove

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