To be an.. Everything. [I Wish]

I never learn my lesson with love and fuzzy things
that like to bury themselves in the pit of my stomach.

The pain of my heart cracking
surprises me every time.

I never see the way
your lips move to form words that will surely
pierce my skin.

[I wish I was-]
Well, nevermind.

Sometimes, I wish you would hold me
and make my dreams come true,

But the dull ache of the constant. .

. .Breaking
. . . .Tearing
. . . . . .Beating . . . . Has broken me down,
and I just can't think of fairy-tales right now.

I'll quiet my voice [Shhh];
make believe the pain's not there.

That's what my life has become-
a play. [Says the actress.]
a fraud. [Says the imposter.]

I'm not -really- breathing.

[Sometimes,
I wish I was your-]

No.
Stop it.

It's a foolish thing to wish.
Reality is all we've got.
And the reality is. . .

I'm not really here.

[Hollow.]

With every word that you embed in my ears,
I vomit up more of myself for you.

. .. ... .. . .. ... .. . .. ... .. . .. ... .. . .. ... .. . .. ... .. . ..

Sometimes,
I wish you would whisper things in my ear
that no one else knows . . .

[I -promise-
I can keep a
secret.]

Sometimes,
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
and tell me everything's alright;
That I really -am- here.

Sometimes,
I wish you'd look me in the eyes
and make me swear [crossmyheart]
I'll never leave.

And sometimes-
Sometimes, I wish I was your [EVERYTHING].

But I can't be that.

Only people who are -really- here can be an everything.

But still. . .
_______________[I wish I was.]