What If

What if i went out that day?
will i be less miserable as i am today?

what if i chose to see you for the last time?
will i be thinking about you less than i am right now?

what if i cried myself and screamed everything out of my lungs next to your cold body?
will the burden be less heavier?

what if i were there during your final moments?
will you notice everything i never get to say to you?

what if i never left years ago?
will you still be around today?

what if i have the guts to get into your room a week after you passed?
will i find my closure?

what if i jumped into your grave with you?
will i be much more happier than i am today?

maybe...