It feels really good, to be hated.
But hey, that is what I chose,
I deserve it.
Oh, and its really great to know that there are people who don't know me despise me. Not because of who I am, or what I believe, but because I love.
And those people I grew up in church with, they hate me too, and they don't even know it. They slander people like me, they call us disgusting, or sinful, or vile, and they don't even care about who those people are, who I am.
Just because your book has law codes from thousands of years ago, you hate them; you hate me.
What happened to "so loved the WORLD"
What happened to "love your neighbor"
What happen love?
What happened?
"But you chose this," My mother would say, "So it must be what you want." Yeah, I chose to feel like this, like dirt, like nothing. I chose to not be treated as an equal; I chose to be cussed at, called names, harassed, beaten up. Yeah I chose this.
Just like you chose who you are. Just like you chose to fall in love with your husband or wife. Just like everyone else chose who he or she fell in love with, ignorant.
Yeah, I chose to live like this.
I chose to lie in bed every night and think about all the people that I love, who hate me.
I chose to feel like the scum of the earth.
I chose to not sleep, to ache, to cry, to hurt. When I should be so happy.
Why can't everyone else just be happy that I am happy? Why does everyone else get to walk around and hold hands with their love, and kiss their love, and have a beautiful wedding?
When all I get is called dyke for my cloths, fag for holding hands, disgusting for a kiss, and get awkward stares and hushed speaking when I want to get married. Why?
How is that fair?
Why would I deliberately decide to be hated?
I didn't choose.
It just happened, it's an inherent part of me. It's who I am, and whom I happened to love. Sex doesn't matter, race doesn't matter, and hate doesn't matter.
Love is what matters.
And I choose to love, and be loved.
I choose to be happy, and joyful.
My only CHOICE is to not listen to the harmful words, or the bigotry, or the hate.
My choice is to be who I am,
To love,
And to be happy.
