Liz, that is awfully shivers sending..

I mean, I was really moved by the whole atmosphere you've drawn, with such beautiful imagery and provoking wording.

I can see it''s about death, but didn't understand why it's dedicated to FOP..

at any level, I really enjoyed the figurative language,,,, and such images:

"flowerbed should be made of daisies instead of spoiled earth" ...

I fell in love with that.
It felt somehow, melodious, like a broken tune... "VIOLIN", sad one, playing. my god, how I love violins.

amazing write, surely nominated the next week.

Hey Abed,

Thanks heaps for your vote and comments x

I should probably clarify, the poem was not dedicated to FOP but Krissy gave us all titles of poems and we had the choice to write a poem based on that title.

I will amend the bottom description x

Thanks again Abed

Here are my thoughts on this piece.

"Melancholy filled tears,
her hazel eyes;
vacant"

----This stanza sets a sad atmosphere for this piece. The reader can automatically deduce without seeing the category that this poem is in that the poem will be a sad one

Sulking over unsung lullabies -over forgotten recitals, missed celebrations - with balloons of pink and white

---The reader can create a scene base on this part.

Clenched arms - trembling profusely Blood ties amongst elapsed promises -and broken dreams

---- The imagery created by this stanza is great.

Traumatized - ¨by unseemly rants¨Flowerbeds of life which should be filled -with roses and daisies alike; are filled with spoiled earth unable to grow

---- The reader starts to tie down the previous stanzas and can start thinking about what this poem is really about.

A little princess - with auburn hair; is left alone"

---- She is left alone, but where? This stanza makes the reader to want to continue reading for more clarifications on the meaning of the poem for its uncertain that the girl has pass away.

Following a moment of silence - she then calls out for her saviour - but no one hears her cries

----This is the sad part, where the little girl calls for help but no one hears for she is no longer on earth.

O huni this is so sad and by far your most emotional poem yet in my opinion

I loved the start of the poem! you opened with simple lines yet they imagery you created pulls the reader in straight away

I have to be honest this is a stunning write and I think it will do really well

I am adding this poem to my favorite poem section

5/5

Wow amazing 5/5 and nomination :)

I really like the atmosphere you create with your words, the sadness is literally hanging in midair and not only the protagonist, but also the reader is experiencing it. The protagonist while undergoing this and the reader because of reading this poem and feeling tied to their place, unable to help, wondering how this continues, hoping for the so called "Happy end", yet it doesn't come.
I actually liked the flowerbed of life a lot because it's usually an image for positive things, may it be heaven or even love in general, while here it is not, it rather shows how lifeless the protagonist is, lifeless and empty because he is missing yet it's unknown what fertilizer might help, if there is any at all.
I thought that the ending was heartbreaking.

"A Moment of Silence"
^ Not only the context of your poem fits to this title, but also the reaction of the reader, the effect your poem has on the reader, at least it had that effect on me, it left me speechless.

Well done.

This was not only sad but the heartfelt emotions filled the reader. Your words so vivid one wished to bring comfort to this sad child

I really like your choice of words, that's always the first thing I notice in a poem, and you use beautiful words constructing meaningful stanzas along each poem you write like you did in this one :)

Splendid. This was truely poetry; the perfect words in the perfect order.