Thea

by Exostosis   Dec 9, 2011


Where you domiciliate primordial goddess
my heart cadences fragile and fallible

Arrive under shadows nigrine, you
descend swiflty along gargoyle wings
incepting the symphonies of mind
Your prescence is tantamount, momentary
unike a residual ghost ethereal

With those onyx eyes you hypnotize
but our intimacy retains arcane

This fire within me burns vigorously, and
I travail to attain your chimera guarded heart
inscribed within the abyss of your iridescent soma

Aeon eclipses have elapsed, but your aroma
presists an elemental intricacy,
spawning a concept feeling

The vermilion clouds at griefing
your abscence, have bled dry Thea
Luchorpan heels quaint, have grown
languished to caress your emollient feet

I will hail through the Charybdis waters
and endeavour until Triton leads me to
the ivory castles, that lay upon platinum shores

Thea, there you nap my placidity,
wrapped in an enigma lambent.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by my blue eyes cry

    I have not read your work in a while..this is beautiful! love everything about it! i look forward to reading more soon :) hope things have been well!

    <3 B

  • 12 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    Breath taking lines~

    "Aeon eclipses have elapsed, but your aroma
    presists an elemental intricacy,
    spawning a concept feeling"

    The flow from beginning to the end is great.

    Good job! 5/5!

  • 12 years ago

    by Renegade Angel

    Cool, you had me somewhat lost, but towards the end you tied it all together.
    nice, G xD

  • 12 years ago

    by Jordan

    I like the intricacies of your rhyme scheme although I find your diction to be too much. I enjoy a lot of the words you use but I feel as though there are too many complex terms.

    I don't think that you DID use an encyclopaedia and thesaurus at the same time while writing this. I wouldn't, however, be surprised if you admitted to doing so.

    I don't know...it's just so wordy sometimes that it doesn't even make sense or at least the message doesn't come across very well. Also I noticed the improper use of word categories such as nouns, verbs and adjectives at times.

    3/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Blissful

    There were only two lines in this poem that flowed smoothly.

    "With those onyx eyes you hypnotize
    but our intimacy retains arcane"

    The rest was choppy and not fluid because of your excessive use of loaded vocabulary. This might be your "style" but it wasn't fun to read, in my opinion. It was just too much at once.

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