by TSI25
Its entirely stylistic and up to you, but i feel like proper grammar might help the reader to view the poem in a more serious tone. the repetition of "hoping" while technically a valid use of repetition of a point, seems a little bit overdone, maybe throw some "wishing" in there. It was also very descriptive, but it more seemed to describe a situation than tell a story, but perhaps that was your intent. Over all i'd say it needs work but has potential. |
This poem is soo sad, its filled with sadness and so much emtions.. I really enjoyed reading this poem, it was a great write.. |
by Truelove
Thankss :D |
by Paul Gondwe
U hav here a brilliant and well written poem..my only suggestions is that u cut out some of the 'hoping', i think it will add to a already good flow, my other suggestion is that i hav noticed u hav used some slang here and there e.g 'n'..thats unique about u but mayb writing it in full will sound even better.. |
by Paul Gondwe
U hav here a brilliant and well written poem..my only suggestions is that u cut out some of the 'hoping', i think it will add to a already good flow, my other suggestion is that i hav noticed u hav used some slang here and there e.g 'n'..thats unique about u but mayb writing it in full will sound even better.. |
by Paul Gondwe
U hav here a brilliant and well written poem..my only suggestions is that u cut out some of the 'hoping', i think it will add to a already good flow, my other suggestion is that i hav noticed u hav used some slang here and there e.g 'n'..thats unique about u but mayb writing it in full will sound even better.. |
by Marvellous
It's a pity, but, it's just life, just cheer up. Good job. |
by Truelove
Oh yeah |
by everbloom789
Like it I think It captures the feeling very well I know I have felt like that Xd |
by Truelove
Thanks :) |