Comments : Hoping

  • 12 years ago

    by TSI25

    Its entirely stylistic and up to you, but i feel like proper grammar might help the reader to view the poem in a more serious tone. the repetition of "hoping" while technically a valid use of repetition of a point, seems a little bit overdone, maybe throw some "wishing" in there. It was also very descriptive, but it more seemed to describe a situation than tell a story, but perhaps that was your intent. Over all i'd say it needs work but has potential.

  • 12 years ago

    by BrOkeN ForEveR

    This poem is soo sad, its filled with sadness and so much emtions.. I really enjoyed reading this poem, it was a great write..

    5/5 from me :))

  • 12 years ago

    by Truelove

    Thankss :D

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    U hav here a brilliant and well written poem..my only suggestions is that u cut out some of the 'hoping', i think it will add to a already good flow, my other suggestion is that i hav noticed u hav used some slang here and there e.g 'n'..thats unique about u but mayb writing it in full will sound even better..
    I hope i am not harsh..
    Overall, another well written poem that deserves to be read.5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    U hav here a brilliant and well written poem..my only suggestions is that u cut out some of the 'hoping', i think it will add to a already good flow, my other suggestion is that i hav noticed u hav used some slang here and there e.g 'n'..thats unique about u but mayb writing it in full will sound even better..
    I hope i am not harsh..
    Overall, another well written poem that deserves to be read.5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    U hav here a brilliant and well written poem..my only suggestions is that u cut out some of the 'hoping', i think it will add to a already good flow, my other suggestion is that i hav noticed u hav used some slang here and there e.g 'n'..thats unique about u but mayb writing it in full will sound even better..
    I hope i am not harsh..
    Overall, another well written poem that deserves to be read.5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Marvellous

    It's a pity, but, it's just life, just cheer up. Good job.

  • 12 years ago

    by Truelove

    Oh yeah
    Thanks .. <3

  • 12 years ago

    by everbloom789

    Like it I think It captures the feeling very well I know I have felt like that Xd

  • 12 years ago

    by Truelove

    Thanks :)