Ohh love this :) |
Ps... Nominated :) |
by Decayed
It's the first time I tell someone here to: Please, why not making the piece longer?????? |
by Hellon
This poem has a great deal of potential and I really like your ideas. It does start out as narration as LP has pointed out and I think the problem is you have spend too much time with that. If you balance that and the actual content of the poem itself they are equal...so I'd suggest cutting the narration a bit and focusing a little more on the story...I would also liked this poem to have been slightly longer...the story part of it that is...maybe you were in different schools/neighbourhoods as you grew up...just a little something more. Work on it some more....it's really worth it because...as I said...it has a lot going for it. |
by Sunshine
This, withoutdoubt is a front page winner. Not only did I enjoy the chills, but also the tears that stood there at the corner of my eyes. Oh meme you touched me soo deeply. |
by Sunshine
Tripple likee |
by Decayed
Me 2222 :) |
I can only say what the others have. AMAZING |
by Hellon
I'm so glad you have taken my suggestion on board and added another stanza. Giving some more detail has added so more more to your story and gives the reader more to think about. Nicely done! |
How intriguing! |
by BlueJay
My gosh, I love this piece. Absolutely 100% love it. The piece is creative and describes a different look on so much. It was so gripping the whole way through, and I think that a follow up would be amazing. This is so descriptive and just excellent. 5/5 great piece. |
A beautiful story. The vision of what was and never seeing what once was there. Touching and Amazing! |
by Marcus blake
I like this poem, very descriptive and like a story should be ^_^ |
by RSJ
This is your best peace yet, I really do believe that you've done the best job and pinned your best poem ever yet, It was simple, very straightforward, and to be quite honest very much straight to the point, It spoke about raw emotions and what could and should have been, with a great moral to learn from it all. |
Cherished old memories are deeply haunting, when imbedded in our mind in the form of forever photographs, that are difficult to erase. Yes we will always reminesce those who we deeply miss today. The feelings in this verse-prose here are nostalgic, even heartbreaking and those of love embedded in an unerasable way, that the storyteller did not realize even existed, until the memoirs of a heartbreak surfaced, as little cherished moments in the little windows of the past that were not that visible before. |
by Boy
Oh My God. Oh My God.. such a lovely poem. great work. i love the story and the idea in it. when the writer was watching the old pics. and he found someone there staring at her. this is the treasure that we want to see in album... and the last two lines.. wonderful point to place... i love the question you asked about future. it makes me good or bit sad. depends on the answer for other person. |
Honestly I have no Idea how can something be that simple and raw yet very beautiful and breathtaking. |
This poem is so touching and was such a delight to read!!! I love the title, and loved the story you told in this poem. The opening stanza was so strong, and really touched me.. I absolutely loved it, it was so well-written! I love how you described this person being in every corner of all of your pictures, celebrating all of your special moments with you. It was so sweet and heartfelt! I love photos and photo albums in general are filled with emotion, happy or sad, and have so much meaning... so I liked how you said as you reach the end of this photo album, and if you capture a picture of you and this person now, how it would be like? |
Oh and your poem kind of reminded me an old poem I wrote called "My Shoe Box" .. It reminded me of the same mixed emotions you get with memories and items with sentimental value! <3 |
*+*+*+* BEST POEM EVER *+*+*+* |