Lovers Hypocrisy

I've got all the safety,
I've got all the love I need.
But right now i'm contemplating,
A moment of pure greed.

And i know that there's no future,
Down the path I wish to go.
I know that there's comfort now,
Better the devil you know.

I'm not even sure there could be,
An event of which I seek.
Because it's already been establish,
I'm pretty much a freak.

And when I picture it all,
In the theatre in my head.
I can see my poor boy watching,
From the foot of our bed.

I'm sure this is just a phase,
It'll pass like it did before.
I have no guarantee on that,
I mean, how can I sure.

Am I in the wrong to wonder,
To seek what I've missed out.
To want to know what it feels like,
Is it wrong of me to doubt?

It's all cryptic you can see,
Ever word I writes a riddle.
And even as I type them,
I see my poor boy in the middle.

I'm sure that it will pass,
That it's just infatuation.
But part of me at least,
Kind of likes this situation.