As Difficult as it sounds - In my bed the demons play

Waking up at night I fight to try and see the light,

Darkness surrounds my bed whispering in my ear saying I wish you were dead,

Do I feel the same way or do I really want to stay,

My razor blade flashes in my mind keeping me strapped to my bed in a bind,

I've gotten stronger since the last time I cut,

But I always find myself in some kind of rut,

Looking at my past scares I see what this will do to me,

Is it wrong or is it right? Or is it meant to be?

I try to fight off the demons of my past but to no avail,

They always do the same things that cause me to fail,

Torturing my mind, saying no one loves me,

Feeding off the anger of my past hurting me greatly,

Grabbing my blade I look at it in total awe,

Forgetting how it once almost killed me breaking my only law,

A law to live, a law to always do what's right,

But in my mind I can barely put up a fight,

I slash my leg to my calf and then my arm to elbow,

Cutting myself a few more times in a row,

I hate myself I have nothing left,

But it is better than killing myself,