This peice was once again obviously written from your heart, but I don't think that you should do anything to hurt yourself. If people say that it should have been you that died, prove to them that you are worth something to someone. Prove to them that you are amazing at something. If you like gymnastycs, then excelle at it and prove to them that your time on earth isn't up yet and that you will definately make the rest of your time count.