Regretful memories

I will never forget the first day i met him,
how short his hair was and how he was embarrased to take off his shirt at the beach,
i will never foget how we both smiled when we kissed, we got butterflies and i thought it meant something,
i will never forget how he carryed me so the hot sidewalk wouldnt burn my feet,
and also how he thought i looked cute wearing his hat,
i will never forget the next four months after that, we seemed really happy until things went wrong,
he started talking to other girls and ended up cheating with her, and when me and him broke up and asked her out the same day,
it was horrible seeing them two together,
remembering the memories we had and it was gone so fast and there was nothing i could do about it,
i wonder what went wrong?
and i wonder if i would ever get a second chance to do everything the right way,
i feel like suicide is my only option and im about to pull the trigger,
he wouldnt miss me, he would be happy,
he doesnt know i still love him and i will love him till i die