Awww that was so sweet the conversation between u too, sad ending letting go. But overall it was good!! Well done!!

5/5 from mee

:)

Pure magic Kips!Loooooooooved it!

Thanks

Hi I don't normally respond to requests to critique poems, but I was intrigued by the structure of this poem. By that I mean I like the way you have separated the stanza's into HER and HIM.

The first stanza HER has a couple of filler words that could be left out, AND in the first line and OR in the second

Our hearts fell together, we thought
They were synchronized, entwined;

Why? Because filler words sometimes make us stumble and give pause where a comma is much more effective. AND is quite a loud word and in many instances not necessary. The word OR gives the reader a choice between synchronized and intertwined when the insinuation is that they are both, leaving the OR out makes it more powerful, conveying stronger emotions

You could also change intertwined with entwined, basically it means the same but it helps the flow of the stanza

The term "You shined my eyes" is not a term im familiar with and must be American slang? It works well

Him
In the second stanza you have used Eyes twice which doesn't really work, i would look to change it if possible, i know you are looking for it to rhyme but no rhyme is better than forced rhyme, the same can be said in the fourth stanza where you have added "The Moon" I would also drop "undoubtedly" and "because" while adding a metaphor to describe what it is you see within her eyes

You have the bare bones of a good poem here just needs tightening up a little.
Well done to you both

Cheerz Nicko

Good work

Thanks

This poem is actually exactly what i just went through. It like you took exactly what my heart was going throught and sayng and wrote it down better than anyone could. Your an amazing writer and you should pursue this to further you in life. Your writing has brought out what my heart is singing out. Great job. Please I beg you contuine to write..

Karis, my main goal of writing is to touch hearts. I'm glad that this piece touches your heart. You have to thank Renegade Angel too, she brought in her own part too so strongly.

Thts relly good!

Wow a fantastic job u guys,,I love love loved it! :) it's an amazing write and it's sad,,imagery is great and flow of course,,excellent 5/5