Your ignorance
and pretentious thoughts

^ Oh, that sounds so bold and empowering. As if you want to shout, or ground the person you're talking to... !!

hide the reality that you are nothing
but a speck of dirt

^ My God, haha the tone is getting louder and 'speck of dirt' has something in its vividness that feels so masculine! gotta love it.

A meaningless matter of smaller proportion

^ I wonder how the person this piece is about feels when he reads such traits. He would have his jaw-dropping... and wont have balls to face you with that!! Bold bold.. moreeee!

with an egotistic mind-set

^ a kid, his ego is big (reminds me of MOVES LIKE JAGGER, maroon 5)

of a larger scale -
to which I am grateful that I
no longer associate myself with you

^ umm,, I like this too.. so much to handle of your strong words, but 'you' should be removed. It's unnecessary.

Oh how I would love for
your chauvinistic elements -
to be paraded so that your
moulded imperfections
are exposed

^ that has to be my favorite stanza. The words used are tremendously gigantic is depth. And it flows great.

Lead by a horse -
you're reaching for the summit
of Mount Everest

^ I can see another aspect of your descriptions, lovely lovely. New idea..

for now...

You can kiss my gluteus maximus

^ hhahahhaha, that feels amazing!! Gluteus Maximus feels so melodious,,, and funny at the same time.

Because it's time
to step down from Seabiscuit
and face the undoubted truth

^ Seabiscuit?? mmm... I wonder what that is :p plz shoot me a pm about that. It looks amazing, but I cant get the clues from the context of the exact meaning... is it an idiom?

That you
are no longer wanted

or loved by me

^ an amazing way to end that up. He's now smashed by this poemm... Way to go!

I loved it n ur vocab is awsme n ur thots r too good 5/5 :-)

"Your ignorance
and pretentious thoughts
hide the reality that you are nothing
but a speck of dirt

A meaningless matter of smaller proportion
with an egotistic mind-set
of a larger scale -
to which I am grateful that I
no longer associate myself with you"

^ I loved these two opening stanza's. They seemed angry (well thats the way I read it) and it really cought my attention and made me want to read on

"Oh how I would love for
your chauvinistic elements -
to be paraded so that your
moulded imperfections
are exposed

Lead by a horse -
you're reaching for the summit
of Mount Everest"

I liked how you kept these stanza's as equally intense as the first two. You really had me engorssed.

"for now...

You can kiss my gluteus maximus"

^ on a serious note I felt this whole kiss my arse attitude was very fitting with the tone of the poem but on a light hearted note I find the words gluteus maximus funny so you put a smile on my face :)

"Because it's time
to step down from Seabiscuit
and face the undoubted truth

That you
are no longer wanted

or loved by me"

^ for me the ending was the best bit. It showed the character in the poem standing on their own two feet and telling the other person straight that they were no longer welcome.

An excellent write. Jam packed with attitude.

5/5

Your ignorance
and pretentious thoughts
hide the reality that you are nothing
but a speck of dirt

--- ouch! That person can't even be call dirt entirely but a speck of it.

A meaningless matter of smaller proportion
with an egotistic mind-set
of a larger scale -
to which I am grateful that I
no longer associate myself with you

--- I'm not sure. I'm in a dilemma but I think the "you" at the end distorts the flow.
But then I read it again slowly and it's sort of ok. Aside from that I like the tone, it's kind of angrylish but happylish too.

Oh how I would love for
your chauvinistic elements -
to be paraded so that your 
moulded imperfections
are exposed

--- ohhh! I love the words chauvinistic elements.. And how they were only a show.

Lead by a horse - 
you're reaching for the summit
of Mount Everest

for now...

You can kiss my gluteus maximus

--- haha this sets an humoristic tone to the poem.

Because it's time
to step down from Seabiscuit
and face the undoubted truth

That you
are no longer wanted

or loved by me

--- if that someone was reading this, I can't think of the reaction. probably a lot of emotions will emerge.

Well done!

Thank you guys so much for your comments. Like LP and Everlasting I have removed the word You from the poem

x

I really enjoyed this poem, and I love the meaning of it. I like the strength I felt while reading, the strength of moving on and realizing how a person really is... and it was very inspiring... We all can relate to being around people who are pretentious and egotistical, so it was interesting to read your thoughts on this in your poem. I loved the opening stanza - it was setting everything straight with pure honesty... I like that!

I like the second stanza too - you should be grateful that you're no longer associate with such a person! And leaving someone like that is not always easy, so be proud of yourself!

I love that you used the word "chauvinistic" .. it is a perfect word to be used in this poem! And I think a lot of people who are like the way you described do act like that!

I loveee how you wrote gluteus maximus! Honestly that part really cracked me up! It was a nicer and better of saying butt, and that's good! Because using the word butt would not have made the poem as good!

And the ending was straightforward and nicely done! Great job! =)

Amazing, its so great, LOVE IT:) a 5/5 from me

This venting is done so skillfully in very good taste

You can kiss my gluteus maximus
..................
Your ignorance
and pretentious thoughts
hide the reality that you are nothing

- these are my most favorite but love thee entire peice :) outstanding writing of the words, fantastically written and great with showing emotions it's amazing and I really loved it and the imagery is terrific,,u can see the relationship,,very very well done 5/5
but a speck of dirt